I recently left what I was once so proud to call my “big girl job” in order to pursue my dreams. My only regret in this is that I put my departure off for much longer than I should have, causing myself incredible amounts of unnecessary grief.
I battled with myself daily. I was so afraid to trust myself and the process of whatever God had panned for me. It was debilitating. I spend my drives to work trying to psych myself up after a panic attack, saying “It’s not so bad. It’s fine. Everything is fine.” When in reality I was completely miserable and dreading the next 8 hours of my life. This is exactly what I don’t want for you.
I was so scared to move on because I couldn’t figure out if what I was experiencing was a wave of discomfort that would eventually pass, or a life shift trying to push it’s way through.
A job, a relationship, relocation… whatever you’re questioning, here are a few signs that it may be time for you to move on with your life.
This is the first sign that a shift is trying to happen. The thought of something you once enjoyed now fills you with anxiety, anger or maybe a little of both. You’re irritable, you’re fatigued and all you can think about is how badly you want out of this situation.
Now, sometimes this is experienced in moments that don’t warrant a life shift. Maybe you and your significant other need to resolve some issues and you’re not exactly looking forward to the conversation, but you love them and know relationships are hard sometimes. Maybe things at work have been a little tense because the new manager is still learning and it’s slowing everyone down, but you know that they’ll get it soon enough and everything will be fine.
Life can be uncomfortable sometimes, but these moments of dread should resolve at some point. If you find yourself waking up everyday hating your life, it’s time to seriously evaluate your situation.
2. You daydream about bigger, better things.
You sit at your desk and your mind drifts off to the storefront on Main Street you want to transform or the home office you wish you had. You imagine what it would be like to date someone that wouldn’t make fun of the things you enjoy and make you feel small. You wonder what it would be like to live in that apartment in the city. If your mind is constantly anywhere but your current situation, it’s time to take stock of what you want and need for your life to be fulfilling.
This is where you make your action plan. What do you want and how are you going to get it? Sure, you’re going to need money for that storefront, but is there another job you could do in the meantime that makes you happier? One that could teach you what you need to know about the business you want? Maybe you could pick up a side hustle and move to the city faster? Maybe you call your mom and get her advice on having a tough conversation with someone you care about, but know isn’t right for you? Whatever you need to do, make a plan and then take the proper steps to make it happen.
3. You’ve gotten away from yourself.
This was the worst part for me. Feeling disconnected from the people and activities you love can make you feel like you’ve lost your entire life. When you’re in a situation that prevents you from focusing on what matters to you, it disrupts your life balance and separates you from yourself. I find this to be the quickest way to slip into a depressive episode.
Nothing is worth sacrificing your mental health. Yes, there are some things in life we have to endure and learn to cope with, but if this is ongoing and causing you to be miserable on a daily basis, it’s time to let go. There are always going to be problems, but you owe it to yourself to find a job, relationship, or place to live that has problems you can deal with and move past.
4. You feel like you’re starring in Groundhog Day.
Remember that Bill Murray movie “Groundhog Day?” You know, the one where he continuously wakes up to the same day? Or for my fellow Supernatural fans, the episode where Sam keeps reliving the same Tuesday 100 times in a row and can’t figure out how to save Dean and make it Wednesday? That’s how your life feels when it’s time to move on.
Every. Day. Feels. The. Same. No growth. No change. Just the same garbage every single day. You and your partner fight about the same things over and over again. You and your coworkers have been ranting about the same stuff for months or, God-forbid, years.
In order to live a truly happy life humans need change. We need to be challenged in order to grow. Progress produces confidence, trust in one’s self, and authentic joy. Moving on from toxic or uninspiring situations allows us to actively pursue the progress we so desperately desire.
5. You just know.
“When you know, you know” isn’t just a saying pertaining to finding your soulmate. You feel that twinge in your heart when you think about pursuing your passion. You get that nauseated, gut feeling when thinking about going back to the job you once loved, but now can’t wait to get away from. Or maybe you no longer feel something you did before. Being around your significant other doesn’t even feel routine, it feels empty. Your hometown no longer feels like home. Whatever it is, you know the feeling and what it’s trying to tell you. You just know. You may be afraid to acknowledge it, but it’s still there reminding you you’ve outgrown the place or relationship you’re in. And that’s ok.
It can be scary, terrifying, to leave a comfortable situation even if we’ve grown to despise it. We’re concerned we’re making a mistake or moving backwards. We worry what people may say or think about us. But I encourage you to consider, not what everyone else will think or feel, but what you think and feel. You are the one that has to live your life, after all.
So, what is it you want? Can you get it if you stay in the situation you’re in right now or do you need to move on? Whatever you decide to do, do it because it’s truly what you want. Do it because it puts you on a path to progress, joy and love. Do it for you.