Welcome back to the blog, everyone. This post is not quite as celebratory as the last one, but that is expected. This is a record of my sobriety journey and no journey is ever 100% smooth sailing.
Week one had it’s moments, but week two of sobriety offered it’s own set of obstacles. It was much more difficult, that’s for sure.
My emotions ran high over this last week. There were a lot of ups and downs. Moments when it was all I could do to toss back Dr. Pepper and NOT order whisky to pour into it. I had to call on my family, the closest members of my support system, and keep myself moving.
I spent a lot of time doing social activities. Bowling with my sister, swimming with my friends, having movie nights, and working. Alcohol was around every corner. And while I didn’t crave the taste of it, I craved the escape.
So far, the hardest part of sobriety has been saying no when I’m at my low points. When encountering one of my depressive triggers. When I run into someone I really would rather not see. When I’m crawling into bed alone at night. These are the moments alcohol comforted me through. Moments I’m now having to learn to cope with on my own.
Therapy is helping me learn to find other outlets. So far, I haven’t found a new one that resonates with me, but I am hopeful something will come along. While I wait to find it, I have to cling to my support system, my will power, and the life I want for myself.
To say I feel strong writing this post… well, that would be a lie. In fact, I feel quite emotionally weak. I feel like I hardly made it through the last seven days without a drink to numb the pain. But here I am still pushing forward. This update may be a short one, but it still stands to say that I’m sober. I’m fighting as hard as I can in a battle against my demons, but I’m still sober.