We all experience disappointment at one point or another, but that knowledge doesn’t necessarily ease the pain when it’s our turn to face it. I, myself, recently stared disappointment in the face and with the help of my lovely friends and family, I was able to cope with it fairly quickly. Much quicker than I ever could have in the past.
So, while I experienced quite a hurtful let down this week, I’m glad some good is going to come out of it. Because now, I can share with you the steps you can take to ease the sharp pain of disappointment.
Don’t be jealous of people that have what you want. Be happy for them.
It can be painful to see other people frolicking around living a life you long for. Whether they have your dream job, a friend, or a relationship you wish you had, being anything but happy for them is going to leave you feeling empty.
Toxic emotions, such as anger or jealousy, do not punish the people around us. We only punish ourselves by letting those emotions fester until they start to infect other parts of our lives.
When I faced my own disappointment this week, I was so confused. At first, I tried to figure out why things didn’t work out for me. But the more I thought about the situation, the more I realized how happy I was for the other person. I started hoping things would continue to work out for them. Almost immediately, I started to feel better.
Accept that this wasn’t your time, but remember your time will come.
Acceptance has always been the hardest part for me. I feel such a need to fix things that don’t necessarily need fixing. Some things just aren’t meant for us and as hard as that is to accept, there is always a reason for it.
I’m not saying you’ll never get that job or have that relationship, but this just wasn’t it. It wasn’t your turn. And that’s ok. You don’t want someone else’s turn because in the end, if it isn’t yours, it isn’t going to work out. You’d end up more disappointed than you ever thought possible.
So, yes, it hurts now. There is no denying the pain, but this pain, it’s only temporary. Your time will come. I promise. One day you will get that promotion. You’ll find your passion. You’ll wake up next to the love of your life. It will all come together for you when the time is right.
Know what you deserve and keep believing you’ll get it.
If you work for your dreams, it WILL pay off. If you desire to find love, you WILL find love. You know that you are a person of pure heart and good intentions. You know that you deserve the good things of this world. And while life is often unfair, I truly believe those that put good out into the world receive good in return.
To get what you deserve, you must keep pursuing it. You must believe you will get it.
You took a loss. This was a hard hit for sure, but it was not the end of your story. In situations like this, even when we may not feel it’s true in the moment, you must choose hope. You must choose your reality.
I used to think I didn’t have a say in what happened to me. Sure, in some ways, I don’t. But I do have a say in who I become because of it. So while I may have been hurt this week, I’m choosing to see it as a sign of hope. A sign that what I’m looking for is out there somewhere, even if it wasn’t my turn to have it. I will keep choosing to believe that because I deserve happiness and so do you.
Surround yourself with people that believe in you even when you don’t.
It is never easy to pick yourself up after a disappointment, but I find having the right people in your life makes it a lot easier to bare.
When I was working my way toward the decision to choose hope, there were moments I told myself everything would be ok, even though I didn’t believe it in my heart yet. Moments I felt like I was lying to myself. It helped to have people on the outside validating the beliefs I was trying to internalize.
Don’t be ashamed to ask your friends for encouragement in your moments of weakness. Reaching out, in itself, is a sign of strength. And if you feel you don’t have people to encourage you, allow me to be that person.
Your time is going to come. I’m not saying any of this to belittle your situation. In fact, I think you should take time to grieve. Cry, scream, feel your feelings. Listen to loud emo music. Watch a sad movie. Eat some comfort food and roll yourself into a blanket burrito. But, please, don’t stay there.
Tomorrow is a new day. A new opportunity. Tomorrow is the day you pick yourself up even if there’s still a tightness in your chest. Because your time can’t come if you’re still wrapped up in a blanket burrito. You can’t get your turn if you aren’t standing in line.
Good things come to those who wait. And maybe you don’t believe that yet, but I believe for you. I know that you will get the desires of your heart. And the world, life, love… it can all be scary and oh-so-unfair at times, but good people get good things. We all get our turn. You just have to keep pushing forward, keep knowing your worth, and keep believing in the good.