Disclaimer: I am aware the situation outlined in this article is not unique to one gender or sexuality. However, it is written by, and from the perspective of, a straight woman. Feel free to change pronouns as you read to suit your situation.
This year marked my third, and final summer using dating apps. As someone that considers herself a romantic, someone that wants real, lasting love, I can honestly say dating apps are the absolute worst.
We all experience disappointment at one point or another, but that knowledge doesn’t necessarily ease the pain when it’s our turn to face it. I, myself, recently stared disappointment in the face and with the help of my lovely friends and family, I was able to cope with it fairly quickly. Much quicker than I ever could have in the past.
One of my dear friends had her heart broken this week. It’s difficult to see her in so much pain because, like most of us, I’ve been there. As I tried to think of ways to comfort her, I thought back to my past breakups. What did my friends do that actually helped?
While I usually try to keep my posts gender neutral, this one is written a little one sided. Mostly because I am a woman that has only ever dated men and it’s fairly difficult to write about something you know nothing about (aka, dating women). That being said, fellas, feel free to apply this to your own situation.
Listen, I get it. He’s special. You don’t know why he is, he just is. You’re supernaturally drawn to him, despite his flaws, and would do anything to be with him. You know his potential because you’ve seen glimpses of it. You know he can be a good man. The kind of man you deserve. But for whatever reason he is struggling to be that man. You have taken on the responsibility of being everything he could possibly need on his journey to becoming the man you know he can be. But here’s the thing… you may be setting out on a journey for change, but he’s not.
This is the most vulnerable post I’ve ever written. It’s a side of myself I never intended for the whole world to see. A side of myself I thought I could conquer in silence while continuing to put on a happy face for the public, but that just isn’t the case. I’m coming clean so I can GET clean. So I can stop drowning my sorrows and anxieties in whiskey and start being the woman I want to be.
2016 was the year I finally made the decision to try medication for my mental illness. I’d been in therapy for a full year and it had helped tremendously, but I was still lacking the serotonin needed to make any real progress. I did a ton of research, asked as many professionals for their input as possible, and cried a lot.
The whole process was very overwhelming for me due to one question. What does this decision say about me?