It started as a tickle in my throat. A twinge of pain in my eyes when the sun peeked through the blinds. All these little things piled up into their very own mountain, and no matter how far I climbed, it just kept getting taller.
When I get to feeling down, I find that sometimes it’s simply because I’ve fallen behind on the little things that bring me joy. Taking just a few minutes out of each day to make sure I’m doing these little things helps to keep my spirits up. Although these points are quite basic, they’re also the easiest things to forget about in the everyday rush of life.
Since the last time I published anything on the blog, life has taken a few unexpected turns. Each one, even the bad, has inched me closer to the path I’m meant to be on. It started with giving up alcohol and it blossomed into an adventure I never could’ve foreseen.
I want nothing more than to write. I want what I write to be encouraging… but I also want it to be real. There are some days that no matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to conjure up anything positive to write.
Well, well, well, look who made it one week without alcohol! It may be a small victory, but it’s a win nonetheless.
To those of you reading this as a follow up to last week’s announcement that I’ll be living sober, I want to say a special thank you. The amount of love and support I received was overwhelming. I feel so blessed to have each and every one of you cheering me on and even more honored that you would take the time to come back and read up on how I’m doing. You are all lovely people and I thank you for that.
I learned a lot about myself this week. I learned that I actually enjoy life a little more when I have more to look forward to than a trip to the bar. I learned that alcohol really DID have that much negative of an impact on my mental health and I’m so much healthier without it. I learned that soda makes me breakout (I started substituting alcohol with soda… bad idea. We’re back to water and decaf coffee now). But most importantly, I learned that it was ridiculous I’d been so afraid to STOP drinking for so long.
If you took away the therapy and the medication, I’d have to say the one exercise that helped my mental health the most, would be journaling. The act of putting pen to paper has opened up my mind in such a healthy way, allowing me to see my actual thoughts on paper instead of letting them bounce around in my head at 100 mph. This allowed me to rationalize and find peace in overwhelming moments.
Journaling comes in many forms, but in this post I’m outlining the 5 I find most helpful. I hope you’ll find one in this list that you can enjoy!
2016 was the year I finally made the decision to try medication for my mental illness. I’d been in therapy for a full year and it had helped tremendously, but I was still lacking the serotonin needed to make any real progress. I did a ton of research, asked as many professionals for their input as possible, and cried a lot.
The whole process was very overwhelming for me due to one question. What does this decision say about me?
Self-worth was always something I thought I had, but it wasn’t until this past year that my loved ones brought something to my attention. “If you knew your worth you wouldn’t do this, associate with him, put yourself through that…” A long list of crimes against myself was unfurled and I couldn’t ignore it any longer.
This is not the original post I had planned for today, but after experiencing a rather crippling depressive episode, I decided to write this instead. Because somewhere out there someone is tucked away in a dark room under their blankets, scared to open their eyes and face the demons awaiting them. Someone is afraid to die, but much more afraid to live. Someone needs to hear this and know they’re not alone. They need someone to tell them the baby steps to recovery because it’s hard to think for yourself when your mind is working against you.
“Small changes can yield big results if we just take the time and give the effort to make positive changes in the first place. Life does not change for the better on it’s own and it is up to us to go after the change we desire.”